Another Redneck Dave Blog - 1 Dec
December 2nd, 2006
The pic comes first, then the words, in all their capitalized glory.
You can download the full resolution image here.
DEC 1ST,
TODAY MARKS THE FIRST DAY OF THE LAST MONTH OF THIS YEAR AND FOR THOSE MILITARY AND GOVERNMENT TYPES LIKE ME IT IS PAYDAY. BUT HERE IN IRAQ IT IS ANOTHER DAY, I STILL HAVE TOO MANY TOMORROWS AND NOT ENOUGH YESTERDAYS. I CELEBRATE THE FIRST OF THE MONTH BY EJECTING 420 ROUNDS FROM MY MAGAZINES AND PLACING THEM IN FRESH ONES, SO NOT TO WEAR OUT THE SPRINGS AND CHECK FOR CORROSION AND DIRT. I KNOW IT SEEMS ANAL BUT EVEN MONTH MAGAZINES HAVE TAN TAPE AROUND THEM AND ODD MONTH MAGAZINES HAVE GREEN TAPE.
OUR LIVING QUARTERS ARE NOT EQUIPPED WITH CHIMNEYS SO I SERIOUSLY DOUBT IF SANTA CLAUSE STOPS BY. HE’D PROBABLY GET SHOT ANYWAYS. HMMM DEER MEAT SOUNDS GOOD RIGHT NOW.
THE WEATHER IS A CONTINUED COLD AND SHITTY ALTHOUGH I AM SURE OKLAHOMA IS GETTING QUITE COLD NOW. I AM TRYING TO CATCH PNEUMONIA SO FROM HERE ON OUT I QUIT DRYING OFF AFTER A SHOWER AND WALK THE 40 YARDS BACK TO MY CHU JUST AS WET AS I CAN. JUST KIDDING ABOUT THAT. I REALLY HAVEN’T BEEN OUTSIDE THE WIRE MUCH LATELY SO I CAN’T TELL YOU WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING ON IN MOSUL. I THINK THERE’S SOME IRAQIS THAT LIVE AROUND HERE SOME WHERE. I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW WEIRD OF A COUNTRY THIS IS, YOU WOULD JUST HAVE TO SEE IT FOR YOURSELF. I REMEMBER HISTORY CLASS TALKING ABOUT THE FERTILE CRESCENT, I THINK THEY SHOULD RENAME IT AND CALL IT THE FERTILE TURD, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT SMELLS LIKE.
IN MY OPINION SOME OF THE ROADS HERE ARE BETTER THAN OURS EVEN WITH BLAST HOLES ON THE SHOULDERS AND THE MEDIANS. I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO EXTEND MY THANKS TO THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE TRYING TO GET US REPLACEMENT INFLATABLE SWORDS. OUR CURRENT FLY KILLING WEAPON IS AN 18X4 INCH PIECE OF FOAM WRAPPED IN 100MPH TAPE. PLEASE DON’T SEND ANY FLYSWATTERS WE HAVE THOSE, BECAUSE THOSE TAKE THE SKILL OUT OF THE HUNT. CREATIVITY HAS A BETTER REWARD ANYWAYS. I HOPE YOU ALL WERE ABLE TO SEE MY NEW RIDE, M1117 ARMORED SECURITY VEHICLE, ARNOLD SWARCH(THE GOV OF CA) WILL PROBABLY GET ONE, BUT HE CAN’T GET HIS BIG ASS IN THERE.
THANKS FOR THE PACKAGES, I ENJOY EVERY ONE, BUT PLEASE NO TOOTSIE ROLLS. SOMEONE SENT MY ROOMMATE A PACKAGE AND USED THOSE INSTEAD OF PACKING PEANUTS. I HAVEN’T COUNTED THEM BUT THEY ARE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF AROUND 400 MORE THAN WAY TOO FREAKIN MANY. ON LAST THING, MY HIGH SCORE FOR SNAKE ON MY CELL PHONE IS…DRUM ROLL… 3748. SEE YOU IN 6 MONTHS.
DAVID
“THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME, THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOMEâ€
Isn’t “see you in 6 months” what you tell a while boar after you castrate it?
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