Wanna Look Fat?
June 20th, 2006
then put on a freakin cycling jersey, and while you’re at it make sure it’s a white one. I went to Academy earlier to get some cycling shorts and a jersey. I had to get a XXL jersey because I apparently have huge shoulders as cyclers go. They didn’t have XXL shorts, which I only need because my thighs are so big. I’m sure they’ll stretch a little bit, but I didn’t feel like fucking with it. It’s seriously time to get on those crunches. They suck ass and motivation is lacking to say the least.
So I got 2 black jerseys, one short sleeve and one long sleeve (gotta keep those tattoos out of the sun). They don’t have pockets on the back like real cycling jerseys, but they were 12 bucks a piece and they’ll work just fine for what I’m doing. I can decide which jersey I want to order online, so these will do for now. It’s also good that I found out what size I need, because I would have ordered an XL online and it would have been too small. I guess Academy is good for something after all. It’s amazing how cool those jerseys are. I didn’t believe it until I tried them on. Now I just need a big white X on the back of each of the jerseys. Racer X, bitches!
I went to Chick Fila on the way home (imagine that). This is no bullshit. A seriously overweight couple got one of those party trays, and an order of fries each, then sat down and started eating. I couldn’t fuckin believe it. I was tempted to go over there and say “every wonder why you’re overweight? goddamn.,” but I did not.
So we’re going for a ride on the OK river trail at 7pm tomorrow if anyone wants to go. I’ll be sporting my new black jersey and I will NOT be smuggling any grapes. I don’t think I would anyway since I’m getting mountain biking shorts, but I thought I’d just let everyone know so you’ll be more likely to come ride with us 
6 comments on “Wanna Look Fat?”
01
Hmmm…most of your entries have pictures…the picture on this one must not be working
02
you should totally market that “Shirts that make you look fat” maybe girls with eating disorders would buy them and wear them to their parent’s house so they don’t get caught. Hollywood here we come.
And I thought the point of those shirts and shorts was to compress your muscles to avoid strains? So they are supposed to be tight.
And it wasn’t the shorts that made you ghetto booty look big… it was your ass
03
now, had he added lyrics from the song “miss new booty” i definitely would have spit out my breakfast in laughter.
04
[cartman] eh, you guys! [/cartman]
05
Just be glad you don’t have “wide hips” to go along with your “big thighs”!
06
funny, the bug, i didn’t mention my ass looking big, so go fuck yourself. the shorts may be tight to compress muscles somewhat, but it’s also to prevent chafing from rubbing against the seat. it’s the same principle as wearing tight jeans to go horse back riding. also, the shorts are padded, so your jewels don’t be hurtin. the shirts are not tight enought o compress anything. the material is made to “wick” the sweat away from the skin and keep you cool. i wore the long sleeve black on saturday and sunday and it was cooler than wearing a sleeveless t shirt.
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