The Girls

September 21st, 2005

Last night was the season premiere of the Gilmore Girls. It was awesome, but only because I didn’t watch it. I watched NCIS instead. Kate got killed in last season’s finale, and each character kept imagining seeing and talking to her. Now, Kate (Sasha Alexander) is not an unattractive woman. In fact she’s pretty hot. I thought she was hot in the Marine uniform last season, but that was nothing. I dare use the term “super hottie.”

Last night Tony imagined her wearing a school girl outfit, with the skirt getting blown up much like that famous Marilyn Monroe picture. Abby imagined her wearing some tight, black patent leather outfit, kinda bondage-ish, and other times with a wig and some goth makeup. I hope Sasha moves on to a show that will acknowledge her full potential as a super-duper hottie.

Every show on TV has a regular hottie. It’s a rule. There’s Catherine Willows on “CSI” and Evangeline Lilly on “Lost.” I actually blogged about her last season but can’t find the post right now. The pictures are gone because I’ve switched webhosters and servers since then so it doesn’t really matter.

Let’s see, what other shows do I watch? There is literally a ton of super hotties on “Las Vegas:” Vanessa Marcil, Nikki Cox, Molly Sims, the classic Cheryl Ladd, Marsha Thomason (who I heard is leaving the show), and the recently added Lara Flynn Boyle and Rachel Leigh Cook.

They must have just wanted to add chicks that use 3 names. I think “Las Vegas” gives you more bang for the buck when it comes to hotties. (I’d link to all of them but I’m getting tired of it. Go to NBC.com and see yourself.) I almost forgot about Catherine Bell on “J.A.G.” That’s another post all its own.

Shows like NCIS, CSI, and J.A.G. are perfectly good shows without all these hot women walking around. The only thing they succeed in doing is making us believe that forensic scientists and military lawyers are really THAT hot. The only other military lawyer that hot was Demi Moore in “A Few Good Men,” which further proves my point. The shows would be just as good with what society considers to be average looking woman instead of these knockouts.

I need to go get an M.A. in Communication and write my thesis about sex in the media. I noticed a long time ago that every time the character Rachel on “Friends” walked into the room you could see her nippin’ through her shirt. I think “Friends” was the first show to do that on purpose, and then many others followed suit. Now it has almost become the standard.

Here I go writing another post about nothing. I started out writing about NCIS and ended up with the well known non-theory that EVERY tv series has one hottie at the very least, but the more of them the better. Because seriously, who wants to watch a show with unattractive people? Really the only show about unattractive people is that one where they give them make overs, and most of them are still better than average looking after the make over (definitely a helluva lot better looking than the beginning of the show).

I don’t even know if reality shows really fit into this theory. A lot of them don’t because they’re about people losing the most weight or something equally as stupid, but I just thought of one that does: “Fear Factor”. Have you ever seen a fat chick on “Fear Factor?” I never have, and I’ve seen my fair share of episodes.

Sometimes it seems like every chick on a particular episode of “Fear Factor” has breast implants. Sure they don’t ALL have implants, but those that don’t are thin and at least moderately attractive. Any single (straight, non-abstinent) guy on the planet would do them after only a few beers. There’s never been an episode entitled “Fear Factor: Ugly, Overweight Housewife Edition.” (I’m totally NOT saying that all housewives are ugly or overweight, I’m just illustrating a point.)

Two actors audition for a role and have equal acting capability. One of them is 10 pounds overweight and slightly less attractive than the other. Who’s going to get the part? I don’t think I need to type the answer to that.

I’m going to have to do some research and write a real essay on this. Damn it’s going to be hard work looking for hot chicks on tv. These examples are only from the shows that I actually watch, or have seen more than a few times. I’m afraid I’ll have too many examples, but I don’t think that will necessarily be a bad thing.

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