question

October 26th, 2004

keep in mind this is a real scenario. i know someone who bought 2 tickets to game 5 of the world series on ebay for $1200. here’s my question: if it doesn’t go to game 5, where do you go to get you money back? you go to the box office, right? and they hand you around $200. then you go home and apologize to your wife, for throwing $1000 down the drain. then she divorces you, and cites this random expenditure as an example of your stupidity, and takes 75% of everything you had, leaving you with only those useless tickets.

then, you’re forced to dress up like a woman and whore yourself out to pay the bills, and alimony (heaven help you if you had kids). after you turn a few tricks one night, you wonder “where the hell was that fucking curse? and why the hell does it burn when i piss?” right about that time you find out you have the HIV and various other STDs, and you can’t help but think to yourself “goddamn ebay!”

so let this be a lesson to all of you. ebay is evil, and you shuold NEVER ever use it, under any circumstances.

p.s. i give boston credit for being a good team this year, but gimme a fuckin break. the cards are not playing as well as they can. all this bullshit better just be part of the script to make the series go 7 games (and so my friend doesn’t end up being a transvestite hooker with HIV).

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